Occupy Yahoo Answers

At this point on, I'm going to recommend that you be an ass on Yahoo Answers as much as possible.

If you use this site much, you all know me as the Top Reporter that every troll loves to hate.

Well I've had quite a change of heart. Although I still do a lot of the same things I did before like give decent answers only to vote myself as best answer because of my over sized ego, I've been doing my fair share of trolling as well. I'm in a state of rebellion. I remember when I was a little boy, I my parents did not always give me what I want in which I would throw a fit and cry.

I'm starting a new movement: Occupy Yahoo Answers. Yahoo Staff are all powerful, and they set a lot of policies and restrictions on the site which so many people disagree with. Yahoo Staff hates trolls yet they tolerate so much trolling because they're a bunch of slackers. It has long been a hobby to bust trolls, but to some extent I'm willing to side with many of them because they keep things interesting, and because they're against Yahoo Staff.

we are the 99%, we are very diverse, and Yahoo staff are the 1% and they are greedy, lazy, corporate scum who don't know what hard times are. They have no empathy. I am on the Yahoo Staff team myself, but I'm like a fallen angel since on my own time I like to do some trolling and make the job more stressful for my fellow team members.

I was a DJ at one of my coworkers weddings a few weeks (for my Y!A job) and I decided take a piss in the bride's martini. It was a great prank to play and the groom was shocked that I would do such a thing. Oh well, fuck those bitches.

Scroll trolls on Yahoo Answers

Ever since the birth of yahoo answers back in 2005, I've been a big fan and user of it. I've also pondered time and again ways that it could become a better service and help eliminate trolls. One troll that could programatically be eliminated from Yahoo Answers would be the scroll trolls. They rely on tons and tons of space to post a bunch of garbage and you have to scroll down their entire "answer" to see what the next answer is.

So, what would be a good way to motivate Yahoo into doing some programming to not allow responses with a bunch of white space or other nonsense for the sake of taking up space? They don't listen to what other users suggest to them. They a bunch of lazy people who do minimal amounts of work to keep the service up and running. If only they would put ME in charge!

This would make a great news headline:

Terry Funk, AKA I DJ Weddings on Yahoo Answers, turns down an offer to become President of the United States so that he could instead by President and CEO of Y!A.

OK, back to what I was talking about. What would be a good way to get those lazy website developers of yahoo to put in some code to stop the scroll trolls? Become a scroll troll! That's right. Here's a little canned message I put as answers to help get the word out:

.








Yahoo Answers tolerates scroll trolls by allowing you to have a lot of white space inside of your answer when they could easily eliminate this problem programmatically. Yahoo is lazy.







.



Picture a lot more white space, I was only trying to get the point across in this blog post.

As it turns out, trolling is actually kind of fun. I've never trolled before this. But this is an exception, and I'll continue to oppose trolls as long as I'm alive.

Don't make me get all gangster on you

As a proud wedding DJ and self proclaimed sheriff of yahoo answers, I'm proud to have attorney Adam Edelstein on my side. He is also a user on yahoo answers, and we work together to intimidate people who don't follow the rules.

He is an attorney based in Ohio, my home state (even though Google has nothing to say about an Attorney with that name in Ohio.)

I was tickled pink when someone asked a question about him a few months ago on yahoo - "Would adam edelstein shake your hand or shake you down?"

I just love it! I want to make my attorney a star. The same user asked another question about him - "Adam edelstein...... bi or plain old back passage boy?"

I hate trolls so much and I would personally like to end their pathetic lives.

Also, Adam Edelstein is the weirdest person that I know, as I said so on yahoo. I totally wish I would have gotten best answer for this to help make this attorney of mine more famous but I did not. Oh well. I've got multiple accounts on yahoo so I'll probably ask a question about him and give myself best answer as I sometimes do to keep my Top Contributor status.

In addition to having an excellent attorney who will sue the crap out of you if you're not nice, Yahoo provides me with a tool for looking at a user's questions and answers even if they're private. I admit that this is a little bit exaggerated since its possible to look at a user's pulse page to view their questions and answers if they don't turn off "Share updates". But making this ability sound unique to me is enough to send a shiver down a troll's spine!

So if the user turns off 'Share Updates', there is a tool which is available for people who hate trolls which allows you to see their hidden questions and answers. Not necessarily all, but some. This link should take you to a list of some of MY questions and answers, even though I hide my activity so that trolls can't look for a reason to report me. Its to show you that the tool does work.

You need to be signed into Yahoo for this to work, as well as accept the terms and conditions. To view hidden questions and answers of another user, you just need that tool and their Yahoo ID.

So . . . there you have it. I'm a gangster. A GOOD GUY gangster who lurks on the internet looking for trolls to punish. That's the way it is. Don't mess with me and I won't mess with you. You don't have to like me, but don't talk ill of me behind my back - or I might see you in court.

Look at what a cyber warrior wrote to me

I'm basically just a simple man. I'm a man who likes yahoo answers. There is a long time user of that site who has been stalking me and harassing me. He is a jealous wedding DJ. I've never even met the guy. He admitted to me that him and his cyber gang harass me and will continue to do so. I'll copy and paste what he wrote to me:


You have received a message from another user!

From: I DJ WEDDINGS

Subject: Re: is there anything you think is worth telling me

Message: I've discussed you with my attorney.
He WANTS me to sue.
Swears it's an open and shut case for slander, harassment, etc.
On a personal basis, you're an irritant - one I can ignore, or handle, as I choose. You cannot manipulate me as I can you.
Here, in your Joey account, are a couple of places where I have removed your content. I do this through a tool provided me by Yahoo Answers Staff.
http://uk.answers.yahoo.com/activity?show=0Y1A4hFkaa
You hid your Q&A. Clearly I can access that thru friends. Here's another then:
http://answers.yahoo.com/activity?show=VqKez4qgaa

Private Q&A.
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20110126110551AAbZR2e
MΣ ƒÜ¢K µR /\/\ Ö ΩΩ?

Etc.

So, I'm showing you ANY time I want, I can mess with you. I have dozens of friends who will pitch in.

I have 9 alerts in my mailbox about your activity.
I have a direct link to Y!A Staff.
I have a slam dunk lawsuit if I choose to pursue it.
2:27 pm, Eastern.
At 2:35, the reporting on your account begins.

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Just who does he think he is to treat me this way? I mind my own business. Just because its obvious that I happen to look like him, he took issue with me putting up a photo of myself on that sight. He and his gang scared me off. I sometimes try and get on there discreetly to have a peaceful Y!A session, but his gang usually spoils it a little bit or more by reporting my questions and answers. They work hard to shut me up, because they are fearful.

It was only a joke ok?

I didn't do any of that stuff with my aunt and uncle. I'm not into incest at all. Incest is horrible illegal disgusting and amoral.

Moral Oral was a good wholesome TV show that children should watch to learn good values.


But I love children! If you know anything about me you already know that about me.


I still babysit a lot and I love it. I love being a part of these kids identities, their development, their everything. There has got to be a trace of me, Terry Funk, in every cell that their beautiful bodies shed.



This video goes back a few years I was a little intoxicated when I was a DJ at a wedding.

Losing my virginity

I was a 32 year old boy spending the night at my aunt and uncle's farm. It was a windy night and I was flying a kite. I noticed a really big, pyramid shaped piece of cow pie about 10 feet to my right. I thought it was so cool that I let my kite fly away so I could go and play with it. I was more imaginative when playing with this piece of shit more so than I usually was when I'd find something on the ground. I was really turned on my the smell and texture of this treasure which I found. So I pulled my pants down and spread it around. My hot dog got bigger and more stiff. I was going to go back to the guest room for some privacy, but I heard some animal sounds in Hoss and Edna's room. I wondered if they brought some of the horses, dogs, cats, fish, and rodents in to play around with them. I wandered in, and realized it was much deeper and exciting than that. There were no animals in the room, just the three of us.

Edna: Hoss, look's like our nice little nephew has come into join us.

Hoss: Well look at that. He's well prepared with that shit smeared all over his groin.

Terry: I guess this will be my first time.

Edna: Oh don't worry Terry. There's a first time for everything.

Hoss: Edna, I don't know if he blocked out that part of his childhood ---

Terry: Huh?

Edna: Shhh! Terry, come crawl into your aunt and uncle's bed...

And so that's what I did. It was one of the best night's of my life. As I joined my aunt and uncle to make some whoopie, there were even more animal sounds being made. Ducks, chickens, geece, madagascar hissing cockroaches, ants, bees, maggots, flies, aliens, chinese people, black people, and creatures we didn't even know that existed until that night. It was a long night of great sex, and I thank God for that. It felt great to wake up late in the morning to see my aunt Edna with a shit mustache on her good old southern looking face.

The second time I had sex

I was a 33 year old man walking home one night from a business meeting. It was a chilly night outside, I had my business suit and a briefcase. I wasn't dressed well enough. I wanted some kind of snack that would warm me up until I got home. I walked by a dumpster which was nestled between two decaying buildings. I heard a baby crying, so I walked into the alley to see what was going on. There didn't seem to be any people around. I saw a mouse nibbling at a piece of cheese in the corner, that wasn't it. I opened up the top of the dumpster and I saw a lovely looking white baby sitting on top of a black garbage bag. My heart immediately filled up with joy, and my eyes watered with sadness.

Who would do such a thing to a poor, defenseless baby? I figured that it must have been for a good reason. Maybe the baby was brought into this world from a poor woman out of wedlock. Maybe there was something seriously wrong with the baby and it wasn't meant to live. I didn't even check to see if the baby was male or female. I pulled down my pants to try and make some use out of the baby. You know...

After I was done doing my business with the abandoned baby who was treated like a piece of trash by it's negligent parents, I placed it nicely back into the dumpster. I closed the lid and it started crying even harder than when I first found it. I hoped that the parents or someone who wanted to raise a child would come into the alley and end up finding it. I didn't call the police or anything because they might have assumed I had something to do with it being in there.

I noticed a green button on brick wall next to the dumpster. I am a curious man who has done a lot of stupid things because of my curiousity, and I regret how many people and things have been hurt because of this. I've wondered before if there was a God or not, and what I didn't realize at the time was that this baby was going to find out. I pressed the green button, and I was like Oh shit, I just turned on the trash compactor. I have never heard such loud screaming in my entire life. The poor baby's screams listed for about 20 seconds, and then it suddenly stopped.

I picked up my suitcase and casually walked out of the alley. The smog which was in the air at the time seemed more potent than usual, even though I knew it was the same as usual. My senses were more acute, I could have noticed the sound of a leaky faucet over 5 blocks away from me. I walked by some lost old man and I even saw the hairs on the back of his head stand up. A police car drove by me and my sixth sense told me they knew I was up to something. I could tell by their radio conversation they were anxiously on their way to catch a shoplifter. As I continued to walk back home in the foggy night of the ghost town I lived in, a storm suddenly built up. I heard thunder roar from the sky, and right after I walked into my house and closed the door, it started pouring rain. Everything in my house seemed perfect that night. Whenever I picked up an object such as the remote for the TV, it almost seemed to have a magnetic effect. I wanted my cat to come into the living room and be with me; moments later, it did. I wanted to watch Bill O'Reilly, and his show started right when I turned the TV on. He just so happened to talk about everything I would ever want him to talk about, while keeping me surprised and interested.

I don't even remember walking into my room that night to go to bed, but I woke up in the morning to a bird chirping. The weather outside was perfect - 68 degrees and clear skies. The air was crisp and clean. Everyone's lawn was manacured. It was a perfect day that day, just like the night before was a perfect night (after the incident.)